About those New Year's resolutions
Let me resolve something for you about those insidious resolutions.
They’re bright + shiny on New Year’s Eve. Yet, a few weeks later, excitement gives way to exhaustion.
Here’s why this happens: You have a well-developed habit of being hard on yourself.
It comes from a performative view of self-worth, when you believe you’re more worthy when you’re doing. And the more challenging you suspect it will be, the more challenging you unconsciously make it.
Your Inner Critic convinces you to set goals by telling you you’ll feel better about yourself when you’ve achieved them, implying that you're not quite enough just as you are.
Furthermore, she doesn’t actually believe that creating what you want is within your power so she weaponizes the process with her excruciating standard of perfectionism.
This makes it impossible to earn your own approval and traps you in a subconscious cycle of self-sabotage that’s energetically depleting and emotionally draining.
It’s her misguided attempt to motivate you to do more when what you truly desire requires far less.
Listen to what you say to yourself. That stern and serious self-talk that you think is required for resolve? That may actually be the problem.
— INSTEAD OF —
“I should be further along.”
“I need to do more.”
“I didn’t try hard enough.”
— SAY THIS —
“I did the best that I could given the circumstances.”
“What’s the one thing I need to surrender this year?”
Ask yourself:
Do I speak to myself like a disapproving command and control manager?
or
Do I inspire myself like a leader who seeks my flourishing from a place of full belief in my unlimited potential?
Lean in because here's the unequivocal truth: The quality of your thoughts creates your quality of life.
Your most inspired and encouraging thoughts about yourself — independent of your accomplishments — are the highest quality fuel for a fulfilling life.
Goals are simply an optional enrichment curriculum for personal growth that we choose to enhance our experience of living.
You’re equally worthy in your
doing or not doing, so lead yourself with GRACE and COMPASSION.
In the grand scheme of things, it matters very little if you do or don’t do those resolutions.
What does matter? Your thoughts about those resolutions, particularly the way that you allow yourself to be triggered by the need to earn your own approval.
What if you just approved of yourself independent of your accomplishments?