Don’t trade your authenticity for likability
— TRUTH —
— LIE —
Women need to be liked to be successful.
You need to like YOU to be successful.
We've been conditioned to believe that it's important to be liked. And warned that it's harder for women to lead because of likability bias.
Far too many smart, talented, high-achievers are distracted by what others might think. Expending enormous amounts of mindshare and energy trying to figure out how to win the likability game.
It’s the biggest source of work-related stress, tension, and anxiety I see in the women I coach.
They’re already successful leaders but they have a gap in their self-leadership. A blindspot about how circumspect they are in what they do or say -- overthinking it before and overanalyzing it after.
“I know what I want to say but I’m afraid I’ll come off too aggressive. I don’t want to over-step,” they tell me.
The reason they're never quite sure how their message is received is because they're too tentative and non-committal in their delivery.
They dilute the impact by saying it in a tone that sounds like a suggestion, rather than an assertion. So of course, they feel powerless + ineffectual because, in their attempt to be seen as pleasant, they end up being dishonest about what they really think and to who they truly are.
Being authentic keeps you truthful. It takes no extra effort or preparation to just show up exactly as you are.
I help women leaders like you define success on their own terms so that other people’s approval is no longer a measure of success.
Being fiercely loyal to yourself, and living in integrity with who you are unapologetically eliminates the chatter and lifts the heavy.
What you think about yourself is the only poison or remedy to whatever you’re feeling. Accepting and loving yourself is the highest quality fuel for life.
Liking yourself for being yourself?
AUTHENTIC.
Being a version of who you hope you’ll like?
